One of the first signs that you’re beginning to develop boundaries is a sense of resentment, frustration, or anger at the subtle and not-so-subtle violations in your life. Without the ability to end things, people stay stuck, never becoming who they are meant to be, never accomplishing all that their talents and abilities should afford them. If you do not connect, the ones you care about will find someone who will. If you continue to blame other people for “making” you feel guilty, they still have power over you, and you are saying that you will only feel good when they stop doing that. That is grief's job and purpose-to allow us to come to terms with the way things really are, so that we can move on. That can kill a business that could have had very good life if someone had seen that sowing had to stop and operating had to begin.”, “False hope buys us more time to spend on something that is not going to work and keeps us from seeing the reality that is at once our biggest problem and our greatest opportunity.”, “Your business and your life will change when you really, really get it that some people are not going to change, no matter what you do, and that still others have a vested interest in being destructive.”, “You cannot fix people who will not take feedback, because from their perspective, they do not have a problem. A good test of a relationship is how a person responds to the word 'no.' In Necessary Endings, Dr. A client of mine told me he was reading the book Necessary Endings by Dr. Henry Cloud. In your business and perhaps your life, the tomorrow that you desire and envision may never come to pass if you do not end some things you are doing today.”, “They have realized that their success depends on having the time and energy resources to go deep with a few relationships, and they have to end the wish to go deep with everyone, as it leads to skimming the surface with almost everyone.”, “It is in complete alignment with the reality that both businesses and individuals will begin, gather, and have more activities than they can reasonably sustain.”. “Necessary Endings: The Employees, Businesses, and Relationships That All of Us Have to Give Up in Order to Move Forward”, p.7, Harper Collins, Henry Cloud (2013). Growth itself demands that we move on.”, “For companies that operate like a family: Sometimes the commitment to being a family gets interpreted in two destructive ways that often remain unspoken. from The Foursquare Church PRO . But, when you are dealing with someone who is hurting, remember that your boundaries are both necessary for you and helpful for them. As a result, we stay stuck in what should now be in our past.”, “Today may be the enemy of your tomorrow. Whatever's happening today, remember it is only ONE SCENE in a long movie. The twin sister to autonomy and freedom is responsibility and accountability. BEST QUOTES “A lot of times in high performers, […] We change our behavior when the pain of staying the same becomes greater than the pain of changing. It's not your problem. ~ Dr. Henry Cloud Endings are thus formally unappealing to me, more than beginning or ending, in life, I enjoy continuing. Necessary Endings: The Employees, Businesses, and Relationships that All of Us have to Give Up in Order to Move Forward. Necessary Endings: The Employees, Businesses, and ... “If you’re hesitant to pull the trigger when things obviously aren't working out, Henry Cloud’s Necessary Endings may be the most important book you read all year.” —Dave Ramsey, New York Times bestselling author When you encourage someone, it literally changes their brain chemistry to be able to perform... sends fuel to the brain. Endings are not only part of life; they are a requirement for living and thriving, professionally and personally. You have to be able to face losing some things you might want in order to be free to do the right thing. Henry Cloud offers some helpful insight in his latest book Necessary Endings. Dr. Henry Cloud On Endings This Week's Top Quote From Around The Web. You just ended something. “Boundaries in Marriage”, p.24, Zondervan, Henry Cloud, John Townsend (2008). Fear, either of the unknown or of people, appears to be one of the biggest factors preventing an ending. 7 years ago. 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